I used to dream that the Cubs would win the world series. I’ve been a lifelong fan (if you scroll back years and years on here, you’ll see) and the lovable losers will always have a huge piece of my heart, my hope, and my spirit.
The other night, I had a different dream. It was a good dream. In my dream, Cece said, “outside” as in… I wanna go outside. Of course, to reinforce that behavior I took her directly outside so she could see that her words meant something to my ears. It was a good dream. Nothing fancy, nothing fantastical, just my daughter talking.
But I woke up sad.
Over the course of her 2.5 years, I’ve heard her say a couple words; believe it or not, she has said “ousted” — which is how her cute little mouth would say “outside” — a couple times before (probably 8 or 9 months ago). I’ve since learned that children with autism can “forget” words. And the more I’ve studied, the more I realize it’s more like they “can’t locate” the words they want to pull from their brain and say. It’s terribly frustrating because I know that she knows them. I know that she thinks them. I know that if I tell her we are going to go outside, she’ll start heading to the back door.
A parent’s dream is a powerful thing. I’m using it as a goal to reach toward, and to fight for. I don’t know that Cece will ever say a sentence to her “Daaaa” but I’m here with open ears. As for the Cubs, well… I’d take a World Series ring as a consolation prize.
Talk to you soon,